When I was a kid people always commented that I pronounced the word ‘twelve’ funnily, and made it sound like ‘twalf’. I recall repeating myself numerous times. One aunt actually said that I must have learnt to count in England; thus my peculiar way of pronunciation.

Till now, I’m sometimes still told that I don’t resemble a local. Cab drivers often mistake me for a Japanese, Korean, Taiwanese, Mainland Chinese etc… On flights, stewardesses would interestingly sprout some foreign words to me thinking that I’m a native speaker of their language. What is it about me that’s so not Singaporean? Maybe, my heart is not here. I have to give credit to this city for being a pretty good place to live in though; I probably just need to get out for a while.

Someone actually sent me a message to tell me that today’s date is contained in my identity card and contains the numerals of my car plate. Hmmm… so attentive to details. Even I don’t bother with such minutiae myself.

I was feeling quite alright today until the Security Awareness training. Sounds harmless right? But even in such a setting I got somewhat singled out to ‘explain Section 47 of the Banking Secrecy Act in correlation to our current Watchlist filtering framework’. Not that I don’t know my stuff, but it was so random and I ended up elaborating on the topic for a good 20 minutes. And of course, bitchy people did not miss the opportunity to make their presence felt.

In addition, I just heard new gossip about me being pretty and smart and the bosses liking me and what I eat and what car I drive and going to the gym and the management toilet key and meetings and emails and such. Nothing better to do is it? So stupid. Urghhhhh.

I have a craving for Chinese noodles, and I want to go to Crystal Jade for dinner tonight. I want to have Coffee Club’s crusted dory and muddy mud pie too. Last night, I had salmon, tuna, cod, beef, pumpkin, cherry tarté, fishballs, beansprouts, tofu, sweet tapioca and green tea. Yes I am a FOOD MONSTER. A scary and grouchy one who gobbles up everything in her path.

Lion thinks I’m a trophy girl, maybe. Fish is irritating and slippery. Taurus got lost in the grass while counting root hairs. The other bull could be upset cuz it didn’t get the grass patch it wanted. I may meet white tiger to catch up before Xmas. The kangaroo buddy is disgusting. No more Dewberries for me, especially stale ones. The matchstick has gone up in flames. Mistake remains wrong. Good grief.

Ohh, as you may have realized, whining season for me has started again.