I feel that my arms are super fat and fleshy and I’ve got thick thighs, an enormous butt and a balloon belly that makes me look 6 months pregnant. I’m experiencing a lot of uncomfortable wind that’s giving me nausea and headache. In addition, I’ve got bad skin for the past week and my weight is now an astronomical figure. My face is like a fat mooncake, I don’t feel like dressing up and seem sluggish all the time. I’ve eaten my tummy medicine but it seems like even all the prescription drugs don’t work that well anymore. It’s not just a case of an unpretty day anymore. I feel FUGLY.

If IBS is not uncommon then how come I seem to have the worst symptoms of all the people I know of.

My boss Dr. Hamër offered me a German marzipan. It’s a paste of crushed almonds and sugar, rolled into a ball and coated with something like cinnamon. Save for the calories, it’s actually quite nice.

No wonder I never get skinny; right after I complain about being fat I eat a sugary marzipan. I finished a whole box of Fererro Rocher myself this week. I’ve got lunch and dinner dates lined up almost everyday for the next 2 weeks. I think my period is coming and I’m also emo-ing a little, though I try to keep it under checks. I need lipo-suction, meso-therapy, intensive slimming sessions and a nice long sponsored holiday to Surfers’ Paradise. Maybe, what I need is an extreme makeover.

Meeting up with ET jie jie was good. I’ve not met her since April and we caught up over dinner, tea and cake after my long draggy and stressful working day. It was really nice chatting with her, in contrast to the antagonism I face for 12 hours a day in the office. Somehow, I appreciated her advice and felt that God was trying to tell me something through her last night.

Since last week I’ve got this shrimp craving. Had shrimp dumpling soup last night but I just feel like having more. My cravings are getting weirder each time.

By the way, its my official one month anniversary here at the German bank. I should be glad; it wasn’t easy at all. I’m really counting my days and wondering how long my stay here will be. Even though I wish it to be brief, I somehow feel that I’m kind of stuck here for a pretty long time.

Fix my eyes on above.