It was once said that Lehman under Dick Fuld was a cat with 19 lives. They have not all been used up yet. Such is the respect gained by my firm's Chairman and CEO in the investment banking industry. I once read an article about Mr. Fuld, that when he first resumed office in 1993, actually stopped breathing for 45 seconds. After that near death incident, Mr. Fuld regained strength and built his then inherited $3bn company to a firm with an AUM of $282 bn in 2007, gaining him much reverence among his fellows in Wall-Street.

I'm not saying all these because he's the top man of the bank I work for. I'm inspired because some people simply shine and rise to the top, while others, though remaining faithful in their positions, simply never get their 2 seconds of fame. I'm sure many factors distinguish stars from the plain Janes, but what is the make-or-break factor? Some may say determination, others say luck, perseverance, or a stroke or genius. Some might say being at the right place at the right time doing the right things is simply what it takes. I say, when God wants to lift you up, you will be blessed.

Today, I'm actually feeling very bloated and lethargic and ugly. I even skipped a 12x12 roundtable by Aaron T, and I'm still not too sure if that was a good move. I'll be shifting offices at the end of the week to the other end of the trading floor and will be seated 5 meters away from him. Most of my team mates are squeamish of being in such close proximity with one of the big bosses, but it doesn't bother me at all. He won't be standing behind me hawking over my hourly or even daily activities right? Though he does look kinda unapproachable at times, I'd still say he's quite a nice chap, sorta laid back but shrewd kinda American guy.

I bought myself a new pair of shoes again last evening! This time, it's a pair of sharp swanky shiny silver stilettos from Guess. I didn't even realize I was a Guess VIP member! So pretty, I simply love it. I realize that I've gotten quite a few stuff for myself lately, and it's probably time to start saving. Among my spoils I have several new clothes, 3 pairs of new shoes, a new pink laptop, a book to read, some accessories, Clinique skincare items, various miscellaneous items, enjoyed massages, had a weekend getaway at Holiday Inn Batam and tried Cable skiing, (too much) good food, etc… My, talk about counting my blessings!

Some people are known for their successes in life, others for charitable deeds. Some break records, others are pioneers in various expertise. There are also remarkable inventors who greatly improve the quality of life, artists and musicians who entertain and refine our senses too. Many are known to make great sacrifices for a noble cause, several are fighters, warriors, or mighty leaders of vast empires. A handful actually choose the humble life of spreading the gospel, and even die for Christ when called to. Does God actually decide what we eventually become, at the point of our birth, or even before that? What does it really mean by 'we are called to His purpose'?

If I may, then I want to be greedy and pray that my purpose is to be rich, successful, pretty, happy, healthy, skinny and forever youthful. Who says I can’t ask for all these? I rant a lot nowadays, it's the whole point of having a blog right. I feel kinda unpretty on many days recently, because I was sick most of last month, and this month I gained a lot of weight. Yes… I know that confidence shouldn't come from how you look, etc, but I'm admittedly vain, and I don’t wanna be FUGLY. I'm eating like I've just been released refugee camp, and I think I've consumed like 40g of fat today. That's probably how much fat I should eat in a week. Maybe I should burn my taste buds, so that I will not be able to enjoy food, and lose interest in eating, and become skinny. Yay, but only lunatics do that.