I didn't go to the gym at all this week, and I'm finally having my period. It's 9 days late, and its giving me a painful, intense, almost unbearable headache. I took 2 extra strong Panadol tablets this morning because I ran out of migraine medicine, and it obviously doesn’t help. I'm feeling so tired and lethargic, and boy I'm sure glad it's Friday. Instead of wearing my bright yellow jacket, or other cheery colour to work (as I usually try to on Friday), I'm in all black and boring Monday to Thursday garb, reflecting my Morticia-like disposition today. Assuming G and I can’t find anything worthwhile to do tonight, we might just catch The Dark Knight to top off gloomy Friday (which is something I would usually pass at the movies, anyway). I definitely want to skip the drinks this evening, lest I decide to poison myself and spend the whole weekend zombie-ing away. Then I might as well burn my taste buds and lose some weight right.

I ate 2 cashew cookies that tasted like chalk, though it's my supposed favourite from the office pantry. I just want to go home and curl up in bed. I hardly have energy left to lift a pen, must less survive another trying Friday. There are no more 'easy-days' at work and only the tough gets going in this sort of environment. There's still an office-shifting exercise to carry out at the end of today, which I am so not into. Next Monday, I'll be seated at my new corner, on the other side of the trading floor. S-san is joining us from the Tokyo office, Mama will be back from her holiday in Europe and by next Friday, CNg will be part of our team too. Will things be better? I certainly hope so, but fearfully doubt.

Sorry, no more optimism and idealism to share in this post when I'm feeling as crappy as now. I think I will read my book and watch a lot of TV, munching on unhealthy snacks and holding private conversations with my soft toys tomorrow. I might cook soup for myself too, and if I'm not too lazy, start clearing my shelves and throwing away old useless items. Hopefully Sam wouldn't mind that I cancel the shoot again this week, and I wish that Ralf would come back with some nice news for me too.

It’s only half past 12, and I have at least 7 more hours to go before the end of my day. Time goes by so slowly for those who wait.

I'm not about to fade into oblivion, just to clear things up a little. Though things may sometimes seem a little out of favour for me, it's not my style to remain defeated. Yes, I may whine, sulk, feel a strong sense of injustice, even harbour temporal dissent towards those who initiated the unfavourable change, but no way will I take things lying down without at least putting up a good fight. I'm referring to office battles here, yet again. I think I've almost attained warrior princess status in this aspect.

I just had another dose of seemingly grotesque liver and century egg porridge in this cold and wet weather. I'd better be good and persist in my iron intake before I faint. I really feel quite weak today. I'd be honest and confess that I've not taken my iron tabs for the past few days, either because I intentionally forgot or it genuinely slipped my mind. And I can really feel the difference it makes to my body.

Men really suck, almost all though. Maybe just the ones that appear around me. Whether the're an outright jerk, an unabashed playboy, a male chauvinist pig or a selfish idiot, they more or less stink the same. I'm so fed up with fending off such pests. And just for the record, I'm not a man-hater. I'm simply not interested in such people. Then again, my girlfriends will remind me that I tend to fall for those I shouldn't have in my little history book. I know… I'm a silly goose too...

I've gone through 7 leap years in my life, and I don't know how many more I'll live to see. Some things stand through the test of time, while others evaporate as quickly as vapour. In most of life's events, you'll have but one chance to get it right. I've made wrong turns and taken the longer path in many areas, and as I get older, I realize that I can't afford the many follies of youth anymore. I don’t carry the false optimism of undo-ing the mistakes I've committed, except to learn from the past and hopefully not to repeat them.