Alright, I did something I probably shouldn't have. I was aware of the possibility, but it was really unplanned. I came home at 6.30 am this morning; and made myself sound like a stupid bimbo with my reply to J.D. And the other D too. Shrugs. What can I do?

I'm getting so sick of everything.

Literally. Ever since I started work at Lehman's, I've been often ill and weekends are spent trying to get well for the following work week. I feel myself getting more impatient, less tolerant, indifferent and even a little snappy. I'm unhappy being like that and this cannot and will not go on. This is bad.

I'm losing my mind and not being myself.

By the way, it was grandpa's birthday yesterday and he would have turned 82. I wished he was still around. Grandma is at my place again this weekend and she bought so much food for me. I gorged myself silly. Emotional eating is bad, I know. But it's my stress reliever.

A heavy patina of gloom seems to cover me.

No one seems to be able to give me what I want. I don't think I want too much, but what I want is very specific. Sounds simple? No one gets it. Do I speak Greek?

Either there is something really wrong with me, or with the whole world that revolves around me. Things appear funny and people come across as weird.

I'm so full and bloated and sick.

Please pardon me for exhibiting 'hermit-like' behaviour this weekend. Will crawl out of my shell soon.