I really feel like Ally McBeal nowadays. This pour-out-my-soul-post is gonna be a long one.

Except for being her total opposite in the skinny department, I can totally see myself fitting in her shoes… most of it. Sure, girlfriends tease me about it all the time- my mini-skirts, one-boyfriend-per-episode dating life (which is so untrue), moments of melancholy, reflections, ridiculously wild imagination, friends, colleagues, etc. Bluntly, I’m the career girl all alone in my own universe. Maybe I’ve been watching too much of the series the past 2 weeks, but I think I’ve come to the stage where I can picture myself with cartoonised expressions and ludicrous reactions to everyday matters. That bothers me. Maybe I should take a moment.

I’m done with another senior managers’ meeting today, and there’s a new initiative I’m pretty keen on being in charge of, if Germany gives approval. The Head of Corporate and Institutional Banking enlightened us on a new adage: When doing well wave your flag around so people will notice you; but in times of turmoil like this lay low and sail through unnoticed. He was so cute and to me the nicest German around. Deutsche’s cuts last Friday surprised many, UBS’ losses were daunting, and I wonder what impact Woori’s announcement at 4pm would cause. Credit Suisse reported a 6.02 bilion Swiss-franc 4th quarter loss. It’s a good time to buy equities this year. My bank had to adjust our loss figures too, but our business model remains strong. It is now expected that recovery will only take place in 2011, optimistically.

I think DGM is so smart, like Wikipedia. I was told that he did his MBA in NYU and is actually quite a nice person. (Here is the part where I picture him as the Prince of Persia, don’t ask me why cuz I’ve no clue how it suddenly popped into my head). Head of IA was very helpful; Head of Local Corporates was very sweet; ex Head of PB was also kind. I had a mini chat with the Settlements deputy head too and realized that he had been working here for 9 years already. Even the morning tea aunty heated up 2 ang ku kueh for me yesterday (240 calories!). I went to the sauna with KMK. Actually, people here can be quite nice individually, but I don’t understand why the whole culture is a bit messed up when it all comes together.

Meanwhile, I am still awaiting both the Northern and Southern hemisphere to reply. My prayer is that the door be clearly open as to where I should be, with a peace of mind and firm conviction of my choice. Then wherever the Lord leads me, he will prosper me exceedingly abundantly above all that I ask or think (Ephesians 3:20).

Yesterday evening, I had to deal with yet another gross horny married man from the past. I’m starting to carry out trend analysis on such profiles of in Singapore.
Typically traits I come across include:
- Age range from late 20s to 40s
- Middle management or specialist
- Used to getting women ‘easily’
- Persistent even if rejected
- College or higher education
- Thinks with their d*ckhead, obviously.
I think they belong to the high risk STD category, and they think that they can bribe me with expensive gifts and flattery. Bleah.

Last night, I received a call from dolce magazine who wanted to feature me in an article in next month’s publication. Unfortunately, due to certain constraints, I had to turn it down. At least it’s was a cheap morale booster that I’m not so ‘over-the-hill’ yet.

I’ve also received several calls from India over the last 2 days on a role regarding SoX 404 risk documentation as a consultant to end user Credit Suisse. Though the position is based in Singapore, I find it odd that the vendor doesn’t have an office and has to contact me directly from Pune (I don’t know which part of India). Anyway, I don’t think this role would fit me anyway, so I declined.

Maybe I should do my CISA given that the trend is towards automation of regulatory reporting, audit and banking processes. Hmm.

My tummy is ultra painful today and I think I almost fainted while driving to work. Had to try so hard to concentrate and not close my eyes from the agony. My period is FINALLY here after torturing me for a good number of weeks.
Maybe that worsens my cramps.

I didn’t go to meet Carol and Ade last night and had so much to do. But I had cashew nuts while working and ended up with supper which made me feel horrid today. Am going to Ade’s house warming on Saturday, and maybe salsa after that. No golf again, no badminton this week too. No exercise at all. I got my last set of pictures from the weekend shoot and realize what massive lumps of blubber I have on me. Corpulent, chubby, and chunky ol’ me.

Taurus asked me again yesterday why I’m ignoring him, and if I miss him. I thought it was clear and self-explanatory?

Time for a breather.