Not from others, but my own.

I've set a high level of must-reach goals for myself, sometimes stretching my resources so thin that I feel washed, wasted and helpless. I've a constant need to reach higher, perform better, outdo competition and aim for the brightest star. Maybe, its a survival instinct. Or it could be that I'm just success-hungry.

I can't seem to help it even though at times it takes a toll on me - health-wise, emotional-wise, mental-wise, etc. Am I born competitive? Could it be attributed to the fact that I'm an only child? Or do I have something to prove to the whole wide world? I have a grand aspirations, and I do hope to arrive at them. The sooner the better.

I don't even know why I'm feeling this way about the way I feel about myself.

But it's my blog, so I get to rant anyway and anyhow I want, right?

Its not about dreaming of Price Charming whisking me away on a handsome white stallion, thereafter living happily ever after in a magical dreamland castle. I think that's so pre-women's liberation era.

Yesterday, Colin made a comment that I look and give people the impression of being expensive, and that people may not dare to come near me. Sometimes, he feels, I need to loosen my image up a little bit.

I do have a sensitive side, but perhaps only my close ones would know.

I will be okay. Guess there's only a certain extent to which words can aptly illustrate abstract intangible sentiments. Cheers.